empowering women on a quest for more

The “S” Word

Sometimes, it is hard being a woman.

I’m not talking about those particular “days of the month” if you know what I am saying.  I’m not even referring to labor.

stilettosI’m also not talking about how many women not only work outside the home, but they also are the manager at home.  And believe it or not, I’m not alluding to the fact that we are expected to do all this with our hair done, make-up on and wearing high-heels.  

All of the above is hard but what I am talking about is another word that has become politically incorrect but Biblically mandated. Sometimes, it is hard being a woman because of….submission.

Apparently, this has been a struggle for women since the beginning.

In Genesis 3:16 (NLT), when God is handing out punishment for sin in the Garden of Eden, He says to Eve:  “…And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” The ESV puts it a bit differently: “… Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

Just one more thing to thank Eve for.

I found myself in this scenario with my husband recently.  We needed to address a particular situation but how we wanted to approach it was completely different.  I had my ideas and he had his.  The fact is that we were doing this together so we had to come to a unified decision.  We talked it through, talked it through some more…and then a little more.

And finally, I said it: “We’ll do it your way.”  Did I want to do it that way?  Not necessarily but I knew I needed to do.  

Thankfully, I am married to a very wise, godly man so trusting his leadership isn’t a stretch but when it came to that moment of truly “submitting”, it was hard.  My mouth said it but my heart still wanted my way.  

So, we did it his way.  And you know what? It worked. I walked away thankful that I had submitted to his direction.

Is this to say that our husbands are perfect and will always make perfect decisions? No.  But when we choose to honor our husband’s place of leadership, we honor God.  And you can never go wrong when you honor God.  Never.

I realize that this verse gets used in the wrong way and many women suffer because of it.  My heart breaks for them.  My sweet friends – submission does not mean you have to stay with a man that abuses you. Please go to a safe place.  

When you read about submission in scripture, the context always includes a charge to husbands:

  • “…Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  Ephesians 5:25
  • “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”  Colossians 3:19
  • “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7

At this point, you may be thinking: “Well, my husband sure doesn’t love me like Jesus.  He’s not living up to his end of the deal so I don’t have to either.”  

The Christian walk has never been based on “Do unto others AS they do to you”.  The Bible goes so far as to tell us to “love our enemies”.  I’m not calling our husbands our enemies but the point is…our behavior towards someone is not based on their behavior towards us.  

Easier said than done?  Absolutely.  

There is something beautiful about submission that gets lost in translation.  When I choose to submit to my husband, I immediately fall under his covering.  There is a place of security there that I wouldn’t have if I chose to go my own way.  

But it also does something for him.  At the end of the evening, my husband simply said, “Thank you for trusting me.” 

So, yeah, it can be hard to be a woman because I may not always get my way.  But when I submit, I am doing marriage God’s way and that’s a good way to go.  ~Anu

*Featured image from scarletscribe.net

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