Back in elementary school, my class gathered together in the gym to learn square dancing. Yes, square dancing. (It is Texas after all).
We were all assigned a partner and I was paired up with one of the more popular boys in the class. I should mention…dancing is not one of my “strengths”.
The following week, the teachers asked us to pair up again with our partner. They also mentioned if you couldn’t remember who your partner was, to go stand in a specific area and they would reassign you. Well, apparently, my square dance buddy, who didn’t suffer from any form of memory loss as far as I knew, walked over to the “I forgot” section. Really dude? It’s only been a week.
I turned his “I forgot” into a “I’d rather be with someone else.”
Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the last time I’d feel that. How about as recently as yesterday?
Maybe you’ve been there too. The person you are in conversation with is constantly looking over your shoulder to see if there is anyone he would rather talk to. Or when you are hanging out and they seem to prefer their phone over a face to face interaction with you.
It hurts.
It feels like the middle school cafeteria all over again or recess when you are picked last for the team. Or maybe a 5th grade girl back in the gym learning to square dance.
Overlooked. Undervalued.
Back in elementary school, I tried to change how I looked on the outside in the hopes that next time, my partner would want to claim me.
As an adult, I realize that nothing on the outside can heal the ache on the inside. The lie of rejection I was choosing to believe had to change.
In Genesis 16, we read a story filled with so much drama, it would rival any soap opera. Hagar decides to leave everything she knew, because of one woman who didn’t want her there.
She finds herself in the desert…alone.
Or so she thought.
” The angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water in the wilderness…” . But there was more. He assures her that God has a plan in this situation and a promise for her future. (Genesis 16:7)
Her response… “Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, ‘You are a God who sees’…”. Genesis 16:13 (NASB)
This wasn’t an isolated incident. The same God found Elijah in a cave and Zacchaeus in a tree. He stooped down with the adulterous woman. When the disciples wanted to dismiss the children, Jesus welcomed them instead.
In those moments, when it seems like I am on the outside looking in, there is Someone who is with me. When I find myself in the desert, He finds me. When I presume that I am alone, He reminds me He will never leave me. When I feel forgotten by man, I am remembered and loved by God.
El-Roi – the God who sees. He sees me. And He sees you.
~Anu
Photo by Patrick Schneider on Unsplash
