When we discuss conflict in our marriage small group, my husband will ask each spouse, “What are your ‘trigger words’?”
When we think of a trigger, a gun may be the first image that comes to mind. The reason it is referred to as a “trigger word” is because of its ability to initiate an argument.
No matter who you are, married or not, we all have particular words that may not start a fight on the outside but something still hits us on the inside.
I have my own set of words that are probably insignificant to most people. To them, it’s just another word.
But for me, my heart immediately drops. If I think about it long enough, I may tear up. Certain words remind me of a part of my life that didn’t turn out how I thought it would. It is a constant admonition of how I have disappointed the people closest to me.
Everyone’s trigger is different.
Peter was one of the closest disciples to Jesus but also the one who betrayed Him.
After the third time of denying even knowing Jesus, “…while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. 61 And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, ‘Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.’ 62 And he went out and wept bitterly.” (Luke 22:60b-62 ESV)
If you live in the suburbs of America like I do, you are not likely to hear a rooster crowing. In rural Israel, it may have been a more common occurrence. Apparently, it happens every morning and maybe even more often that.
Can you imagine what Peter must have felt every time he heard a rooster crow? His mind must have gone back to that night when things didn’t go how he said it would. He was the one who said he would be with Jesus until the end. Each morning, when the rooster would wake up the sleeping town, did his heart drop when he remembered how he disappointed his Lord?
Days after the resurrection, Jesus had a one-on-one conversation with Peter, instructing him to “feed My sheep”.
God still had plans for Peter.
Then, in Acts 2, he returns to the scene except this isn’t the same Peter who ran away. Instead, he stood boldy and proclaimed the gospel.
On this particular morning, as he spoke, I wonder if he heard a rooster crow in the distance, suggesting to him that he was the last person in the world who should be doing this. If he did hear it, he didn’t show it. He kept on that day…and the day after that…and for many days to follow.
Whatever our greatest heartache or regret, we can turn them over to the One who makes “beautiful things out of dust…and us.”*
That moment the rooster crowed didn’t define Peter. The moments with Jesus did.
~Anu
Photo by Nicole Wilcox on Unsplash
*Lyrics from “Beautiful Things” by Gungor
