“Sometimes I wonder if you really like what you do.”

The “I” was my husband talking to me about my involvement in ministry.

“Well, of course I do!  What would make you think that?”

“The way that you talk about it…”.  His response hit me hard.  I love what I do in ministry.  I feel called to it.  It isn’t always easy but I really wouldn’t change it for anything.

But my words were telling a different story.

My husband was hearing more of the negative than the positive.  He caught more complaining in my conversation than contentment.  He sensed ingratitude over gratitude.

I had no idea the picture my words were painting.  

It isn’t just about ministry.  One day, it’s traffic, another day, it’s work (or sometimes both on the same day).  It’s about an overbooked schedule.  It’s about taking care of the house and everything that goes with it.

Then, I realized…

If those things I complain about were taken away, what would my life look like?

Traffic reveals I have a car and a job. Having a job means I have a healthy mind and body. An overbooked schedule indicates that I have people in my life and a purpose I am pursuing.   Household chores suggest that I have a house and stuff in it.

I really am grateful for all of that – it just  sometimes gets buried under all those loads of laundry and lists of things to do.  The problem is, before you know it, it sounds like I’m actually not grateful at all.

Psalms 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

My added prayer: And may my words also reveal how thankful I am to You for the life you have given me…every part of it.  ~Anu