Yesterday I was blessed to receive bright pink roses. They were beautiful and breathtaking. However, I had not gone home immediately after receiving them. In fact, the flowers had to sit in my warm car for a few hours until the celebrations of the day finally drew to a close. By the time we arrived at home, the roses didn’t look as lively or vibrant. Sadly, they seemed to be wilting. Nevertheless, I found a vase, filled it with water, and placed the roses in. When I awoke this morning and went out into my breakfast room, there the roses were to greet me. They had perked up and looked just as lovely as when I first received them. My husband’s immediate observation was, “Look what some water did for those flowers!”
What happened to those flowers reminds me of relationships. If you are attentive to the person you’re in relationship with by speaking words of affirmation and spending quality time with them, then that person and that relationship will thrive. If however, you neglect it by not doing those things, then you will see that relationship begin to wilt a bit.
A few months ago, my husband and I had a lightbulb moment. Even though we are together 24-7 (he works from home and I’m a stay at home mom homeschooling our kids), we became so busy with a plethora of activities that we actually were not spending quality time together. Sure, we sat down together every night after the kids went to bed. But we were exhausted by then and TV or social media seemed to be fill in that time before calling it a night. So we began to feel a “wilting” as we were just passing each other by, rather than being intentional to converse and just have some fun together. We hadn’t realized it at first, but it was apparent as we began to realize we were missing each other.
Thankfully, we sat down and talked about it. We both agreed this was not an acceptable way of living for us. In fact, we realized we had to be intentional about how we spent time together. Proverbs 11:25 states, “he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” As we began scheduling regular times to have coffee together, go out for dinner or watch a movie, we immediately found ourselves happier, not only as individuals, but as a couple. And you know what? Our kids noticed too! In fact, they’re pushing us out the door these days for a date night!!
I have also noticed the same for my relationship with my children. For example, the connection with my oldest daughter has grown deeper and stronger since she and I began attending our church’s women’s conference together. The intentional time together just for us has led to more laughter and open conversation in ways I could have never imagined. In addition, I have seen the same occur during car rides with my son to medical appointments have produced. It’s easy to turn on the radio and remain quiet, but since he could talk, our rides together have been filled with questions galore and chats of all nature. I am so grateful to see these relationships bloom from time well spent.
Whether it’s your relationship with your parents, siblings, spouse, friends, or children, the reality is it’s easy to take it for granted because you assume it will always be around and that person will “just know” that you love him/her. But allowing that relationship to sit “in a warm car” “without water” can lead to them “wilting”. Stories from the Bible of friends David and Jonathan and family members Ruth and Naomi show us there’s power in investing in the relationships you value. The greatest example of all is the love we were shown when God sacrificed His only and only Son for you and me so we could be in relationship with Him.
Life is always going to be busy dear Friend, but as the famous quote says, “Stop and smell the roses.” And my two cents in addition to that is “water them, too!” The example I shared about my flowers illustrates no matter how the relationship appears, it’s not too late. So what are you waiting for? “Love one another, just as I have loved you” (John 15:12).
~Joyce
