It’s like iron sharpening iron…on steroids.
Here’s what the past twenty years of marriage have taught me.
#1 I wasn’t as nice as I thought I was.
If you have even an ounce of selfishness in you (and I had several ounces), marriage has a way of bringing it to the surface.
God used marriage to refine me in areas of my life that I never knew needed refining.
#2 I am a saver (and proud of it). But a few years into my marriage, God showed me that us savers can also be a little tight fisted (nice words for stingy). There has to be a balance. Marriage opened my eyes and my fist.
#3 I grew up in an estrogen filled home (my poor dad). I was CLUELESS as to how different men and women’s brains are wired.
Now that the tables are turned, and testosterone dominates my home, I’m no expert but I’ve come to a conclusion. Men (or at least the ones in my home) are simple. (This isn’t a jab at men, I promise)
There is no need to dissect their words. No need to read between the lines. The men in my home say what they mean and probably wish I would do the same. I’ve grown to appreciate their simplicity.
#4 He’s got his thing, and I’ve got mine.
Replacing toilet paper or paper towel rolls (properly) isn’t his thing. Neither is closing sock drawers. But that’s okay. He’s a rock star when it comes to cleaning fingerprints on appliances, taking care of our car stuff and frothing tea (South Indian style).
Twenty years into marriage, God still whispers in my ear and reminds me…focus and appreciate what he does do, not what he doesn’t do.
# 5 Prayer is more effective than nagging.
I don’t want to be a dripping faucet or a leaky roof…you know, the one Solomon talks about in Proverbs 27:15 “A nagging wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm. Stopping her is like trying to stop the wind…”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no door mat (just ask my husband ). But years of nagging with minimal results has taught me….Prayer reaps a greater harvest. I’m learning to say what I have to say then get out of God’s way.
As iron sharpens iron….so can marriage sharpen (and refine) you.
-Binu
Photo Credit: Sudha Mathai Photography
