After I said, “I do”, I realized that my husband and I are different about some things. I thrive on making lists and checking off boxes and let’s just say, that’s not how he rolls.
There was one specific event that defined this epiphany. I was going to step out for a few hours … for the first time after having my son. Being that my husband was not entirely familiar with my toddler and infant’s routines, I felt it would be “helpful” for him to have a schedule of what to do and when. By a schedule, I should clarify that it was an exhaustive list with minute details accounting for pretty much every moment that I’d be gone. I reviewed the list with my husband, patted myself on the shoulder for a job well done, and left with a peace of mind.
My husband and kids had a fun evening playing together. Then, our friends had come over and they saw my list. They were beside themselves by it, but even more so because they noticed that my dear husband never looked at it once. In fact, they found themselves saying, “It’s 8:00 p.m. Don’t you have to give the kids their vitamins now?” And my beloved just said he would get around to it.
Oh, how my heart sank when I heard what had happened! My list! Why couldn’t he just follow my list to a tee? I spent all that time and effort only for him to ignore it completely. I was not happy, to say the least.
To be fair though, my husband accomplished everything that was on the list … just not at the times I indicated or in the order specified. But everything had been done.
I am reminded of Martha found in Luke 10:38-41, John 11, and John 12:1-3. Sweet Martha … known quite well for her hospitality. Her heart was in the right place as she was a practical woman who enjoyed serving others. But she is also known for her frustration with her sister Mary for not doing things the way she would have liked. Instead of hustling and bustling in the kitchen, Mary chose to sit at the feet of Jesus. Both were good things. And it’s clear that Jesus loved both Martha and Mary knowing how unique each one was. Yet, He rebuked Martha not for her efforts, but rather because He noticed that she was so distracted and anxious by her to-do list, that she was missing the joy of just enjoying His presence.
That hits a sore spot for me because I may have failed to mention earlier that those lists and checkboxes meant so much to me because I was anxious. We had already been to the hospital and specialist more than I could have ever imagined. What if something had happened to my son while I was away? I just could never forgive myself for leaving without a proper set of instructions in place. All I wanted was for my husband to get with the program. However, instead of worrying, he chose the better thing: to just enjoy our kids while ensuring their needs were attended to.
I don’t know where you find yourself in your circumstances today dear Friend. If you’re feeling distracted and anxious, 1 Peter 5:7 AMP reminds us to “cast all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].” Choose the better thing: sit at the feet of the Lord, look to Him for counsel and comfort, and trust Him.
~Joyce
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