On our most recent vacation, my husband and I arrived at our destination and headed towards the rental car counter.  This wasn’t my first rodeo (aka rental car experience) with him so I was ready.

I grabbed our luggage and found a comfortable seat … armed with a book, my phone and the expectation that we wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon.

Some people are particular about their food and won’t do leftovers.  Thankfully, my husband is not that guy. Leftovers get us through the week.  Every week.

Some people will only purchase name brand clothes.  The outlet mall and Ross work just fine for us.

And believe it or not, some people are picky about rental cars.  My husband IS that guy.

He has always loved cars, ever since he was a kid.  My mother-in-law told me that his room was covered wall to wall with posters of cars. (I believe it because that describes our garage now).  When I met him, I knew he loved cars and even named them. So, I’m not sure why it shocked me when the rental car experience was so involved.

I discovered this on our honeymoon when he wanted to rent a Mustang instead of the cute little sedan that was also available … and cheaper.  Don’t we just need something to get us from point A to point B?? Apparently not.  

And there was plenty more where that came from. One time, we went back to the rental car place 3 times because he wasn’t happy with the car.  

I’m not going to lie.  I would get annoyed, frustrated and want to pull my hair out. 

Until I learned to change my expectations.  

Some people would say I was lowering them.  I would say I adjusted them.

Marriage is give & take.  When it is one sided, it feels off balance because it is.  All I could think about were the times I accommodated him instead of remembering the times he did it for me.

My husband knows that a nap and a cup of coffee go a long way for me (on a vacation or just a regular Saturday) so he will modify our schedule to make that happen.  He also knows that Sunday is a day of rest for me so he will plan around that.  

“Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins. Don’t eavesdrop on others—you may hear your servant curse you. For you know how often you yourself have cursed others.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20-22 NLT)

Maybe your vice isn’t eavesdropping or even cursing but we all have something.  Something that other people have to adjust to. It’s easy to focus on other people’s issues but in relationships, especially marriage, it is wise to take a step back to look at ourselves too.  I’ve had to do that countless times (just this morning in fact). It was a sobering reminder that I’m not as good as I’d like to think … and I was thankful that he showed me grace anyway.    

If both people in a marriage can learn to do that for each other, our homes and Hertz would be a much happier place.

~Anu