When I said “I do” 23 years ago to my husband, I literally expected to live happily ever after. In fact, the intro of our wedding video features clips from an animated fairy tale.
I know, I was young and naive.
The truth is, it didn’t take long to realize that there are challenges to face and obstacles to overcome even in marriage. And believe me when I say that we have our fair share!
A greeting card I bought for my husband summarized our story well:
“They took every smile and every tear, a few differences of opinion, and some major triumphs and turned them into something beautiful.”
For us, that has meant coaching couples by equipping them with tools for a godly marriage. You see, God has helped us to learn some really valuable lessons along the way:
LOOK TO THE LORD
When faced with a difficult decision, we have been tempted like Adam and Eve, in the book of Genesis, to take matters into our own hands and do what was wise in our eyes. Boy, did we get ourselves into a heap of trouble when we did! To pause, go to the Lord, share our heart with Him, and wait on Him for guidance seemed time-consuming. But each time we submitted to that process, we each experienced God’s unexplainable peace.
WORK AS A TEAM
Marriage is all about working together, whether it’s with the finances, housework, or raising children. The same applies to providing each other with encouragement and support. That role isn’t for just one spouse. While the concept sounded good to us, it took us years to truly embrace this idea. We had to humble ourselves and acknowledge the strengths the other had. There is power in leaning on each other, just as Aquilas and Priscilla did when making tents and mentoring Apollos in the book of Acts.
FIGHT FOR EACH OTHER
Difficult times lead to difficult conversations. As a result, we can be careless with our words and let our tempers do the talking. No one knows that better than my husband and I who are fiery firstborns. We were notorious for the need to be right and to have the last word. Then, we heard these life-altering words spoken by Pastor Bob Anderson at Covenant Church: “Your spouse is not your enemy.” It really changed the course of our disagreements from fighting with each other to making sure we were understood, listening to each other, and forgiving one another.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 reminds us, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
I pray that this encourages you today ❤️
~Joyce
