My word for the year 2022 was contend.  And contend I did.

I am thankful that I was hearing God enough at the beginning of the year to know what was coming, because there were definitely times during the year that I did not hear His voice at all.   I will spare you the gritty details, but in every aspect of my life, in every sphere of influence, there was a battle.  At every level I felt attacked- down to my physical, emotional, and spiritual being.  I felt exhausted and sorry for myself.  I read Job twice— you can laugh at that– hoping to find some wisdom there.  There were many times I would sit down to write a post and nothing would come out.  I questioned my place in ministry.  I questioned my role at work. I questioned myself as a wife and mom– my identity was unclear.

I don’t want to focus on the battles, but I do what to focus on what I learned.  Just because I think God is silent doesn’t mean that He has forgotten about me.  Robert Madu says that God’s silence is His way of getting your attention– like you would before making a big announcement or change.  I learned to be more sensitive to the struggles of those around me.  I learned how to me more sympathetic, more compassionate, more understanding.  I learned to consider the other side of the story.  I learned to pray differently.  I learned that rest is a requirement, not just a suggestion. I learned what rest looks like for me. I am thankful for friends that would pray- even when the request was unspoken.

I think so many of you reading this have probably struggled silently this year.  I don’t know what your struggle is, but I will tell you that God will restore what you have lost. I want to share the verses that I am holding onto for the year to come…

Joel 2: 25- “The Lord says, ‘I will give you back what you lost to the swarming locusts, the hopping locusts, the stripping locusts and the cutting locusts. It was I who sent this great destroying army against you”

I speak this over all of you.

My cousin Binu always says “God knows all things”.  This is so simple but so true.  He knows what you are walking through- it is not a surprise to Him.  And His word promises restoration.

As we get ready to turn another calendar page, I am not naive to think that things will miraculously change on January 1, 2023 (although, I would happily accept it if that’s what happens!).  But I do know there is a significance there- an opportunity for change.  I am ready to receive this change- and I pray that your hearts are too.

Happy New Year to all of our Whispers and Fringes community.  Wishing you a blessed, restorative 2023.

by bena

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