I have an irrational fear.
I take that back… I have several irrational fears. Most of mine are about driving… I have an irrational fear of cars coming unhooked from car haulers on the highway. (I think that one is from the movies!) I have a fear of the retaining walls that they put up during road construction. I have an irrational fear of my SUV hatch dropping on me while I am unloading my trunk. (My husband assures me that there are safety measures in place.)
The other day, we were at the park and I uncovered another irrational fear. I don’t think that my daughter will ever learn how to swing by herself. It’s earth shattering, I know. We had been at the park for about 30 minutes, and I had been pushing her on the swing for about 29 of those minutes. I kept coaching her to kick her legs out and then pull them in… Again, kick them out and pull them in. I sounded like a drill sergeant- “Kick, pull, kick, pull”. At some point, I stopped pushing and let her struggle to see if she could figure it out. She squirmed and pulled and fought but her efforts didn’t get her any higher or accumulate any power.
In frustration, we moved on from the swing… to the monkey bars. She loves the monkey bars, but she can’t do those either. It’s ironic; she’s a tall girl and when she’s suspended from the bars, she hangs just a few inches from the ground. From her perspective, these few inches seem like several feet, and she is terrified that she’s going to fall. So, we did them together. She hung and I grabbed her lower half and supported her as she made it down the row of bars. We did this again and again, and I finally let go so that she could try it on her own. She was so scared that she only made it to the first bar before she fell to the ground. Maybe she’ll never learn how to do the monkey bars, either!?
I know that for my children to develop into well adjusted, functioning adults, I have to let them struggle. I have to let them kick around on the swing or fall off the monkey bars a few times so that they can learn. Struggle doesn’t kill you; it only makes you stronger. It forces you to develop skills and strength that you wouldn’t otherwise gain.
In Job 23: 8-9, Job expressed his frustration in his struggle.
8 “But if I go to the east, he is not there;
if I go to the west, I do not find him.
9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
But we see his ultimate confidence in spite of his struggle in verse 10:
10 But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
Gold is not refined until it’s gone through the fire.
My daughter was disappointed in herself that day, but I reassured her that we would keep practicing until she mastered it. She knew that a battle coming but was confident that I would help her.
I know that your life struggles are more complicated than playground challenges, but God’s word promises that He will be by your side through it all. Just like we allow our children to struggle, God allows you to struggle to develop skills in yourself that you wouldn’t otherwise develop- perseverance, faith, hope, peace, even joy in the midst of it! He will guide you and strengthen you until you master these challenges ahead of you.
~Shiney
