This past week, my husband and I celebrated our 24th Valentine’s Day together. The impact of time is pretty mind-blowing.
On our first Valentine’s, I was gifted with a beautiful box of chocolates and I was head over heels. Oh, how I was in love with the idea of being in love.
Fast forward to the most recent Valentine’s and my husband and found ourselves giggling like children as we saw a celebrity at the restaurant where we were having dinner. Oh, I’m so grateful for the deep love we share.
I want to tell you that it’s been picture-perfect moments that led to this growth in love. But believe it or not, it was actually the tears, frustrations, and sorrows coupled with the laughter and joy that led to growth in our marriage.
I still recall when we were asked to minister to married couples, how we had welcomed the opportunity without hesitation. After all, we had 15 years of weathering different storms under our belts, so we thought we had a pretty good marriage.
The irony though is how stepping out into such ministry made us quickly aware that we were actually very much a work in progress. We had discovered how we were always trying to point the finger at each other and fix each other. I mean, we each thought that the other was the one with the flaws and the one in need of improvement.
I told him he reacted too loudly.
He told me that I held onto offenses.
Imagine the rude awakening we faced when we had to look at ourselves.
Imagine the humility it required of each of us.
It took time but with God’s help, each of us realized how we struggled with anger and pride … to name a few. So it took time and God’s help to lay those things down at the foot of the Cross and work toward being a reflection of Christ.
How sobering it was to apply this verse to our marriage: “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5 NKJV)
Dear Friend, this was a hard lesson for my husband and me to learn, but it’s one that we don’t regret. There were flaws in each of us that prevented us from fully being the godly husband and wife we were designed to be. Nearly a decade later, we continue to ask the Lord to refine us so that when He looks at us, He sees Himself.
“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)
