I had one big ask when my husband and I started talking:

Please don’t tell me “I love you” until you’re ready to propose.

Those words needed to be backed up by a promise to commit.

I had grown up in a home where we said “I love you” daily- when someone was leaving the house for the day, when we ended a conversation on the phone with each other, and when we were headed to bed.

“Bye, love you!”   “Goodnight, love you!”

We said it so much and so fast, it flowed into one word:  “B’loveyou”

Once when my sister and I were parting ways, a friend laughed hysterically as we said our goodbyes because of how nonsensical it sounded as one word.

But it MEANT something. We truly loved each other.

So when my husband and I started our relationship, I made sure he knew I was serious about my big ask.

I’m pretty sensitive.  If someone says something special to me, I take it to heart.

Thus, knowing how quickly I could be swept off my feet if a gentleman looked into my eyes and said those words, I asked him to to wait.

I needed to guard my heart.

Our intention from the beginning of our relationship was to find a life partner. We were transparent about that.

The first few months were exciting and fun as we learned more about each other.

Over time, we began to have deeper conversations.

I witnessed his personality as he interacted with waiters, authority, co-workers, church members, and family members.

I tested him with questions about how he handled challenges.

It was usually towards the end of dinner during our dates, he could tell by the way I smiled and squirmed that I was about to pull out a list. I probably had a new set of questions for every date.

In my defense, I needed to know some things, and I wasn’t there to waste time.

He made me take a personality profile. (We were compatible).

He told me how he managed money.  We were honest about our debt.

We passed the “meet the parents” test…and the “meet the siblings” dinner.

We worshiped side by side at a church together.

We did a Bible study on marriage together.

We prayed together.

And this was all before we were engaged.

Weeks later, he told me he wanted to take me out for my birthday.

He picked me up and whisked me away to a special place where I first heard the sweet words, “I love you.”

It was followed by asking for my hand in marriage.

By that time, I knew he MEANT it.  The words weren’t just based on physical attraction or emotion.

He showed me he loved me before he declared it.

He proved it first.

Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Christ death was a DEMONSTRATION of love.  God showed it with action. He did not just say the words.

As I love on others, I pray that I remember the weight of God’s love.

My words, especially those, matter.

I want to say them often.

But more importantly, I want to mean them.

~Elizabeth/Betsy