If you have a child or have ever been one (I think that covers all of us)…then I’m sure you know, children are unique and so are their parents. And aside from the Bible, there isn’t a standardized one way guide to parenting. We pray for wisdom, do what we know to do, make a few mistakes and then we pray some more.
As a follow up to Sunday’s ‘Back to School’ Facebook Live (check it out if you haven’t yet), I thought to share my thoughts (and my heart) on a few other parenting topics.
SLEEPOVERS?
I’m not opposed, but I’m also not a fan. I’ve heard one too many stories from real life friends who have been either molested or exposed to crazy stuff that still haunts them today…all while under the care of a “trusted” adult or even their peers. It’s more common than we think.
If you choose to send your child for a sleepover, take precautions. Get to know the parents as best as you can and ask questions. Like.. If the kids are all upstairs or in a separate area, are doors allowed to be closed? Are the kids allowed to have their phones out? A little bit of awkward questioning can save you and your child a whole lot of heartache.
CELL PHONES?
It’s the world we live in, I know…but, would we hand our kid a device which could cause great harm and expect them to “just figure it out?” Never. Set guidelines and install filters. Too much screen time produces mindless zombies…in kids (and adults) of all ages.
SOCIAL MEDIA?
My son asked permission to open an Instagram account for his 15th birthday. I was hesitant but my husband was open to the idea. (After all, it’s the world we live in). My husband asked him to put together a power point presentation with his reasons why. My son’s presentation was clever and had some good points. We gave him our permission to start an account…but on one condition. We have access to his passwords. Do we check it daily? No. But he knows we could.
It’s hard enough for my adult brain to get an emotional grip on the highs and lows of social media… how much more difficult must it be for our young ones to filter and cope with the not so social (or kind) world of social media.
They need our guidance.
JOBS?
This may not work for every household, but my boys have been employed since they were fifteen. They work about 4-5 hours a week. It’s not much, but hopefully it’s enough to begin teaching them the value of money and the habit of tithing.
DISCIPLINE?
Absolutely! Until the age of about 10, ‘the rod’ (as the Bible puts it) was used in our home…sparingly with one child & not so sparingly with the other child. There were certainly times when it would have been easier to glaze over an issue and not address the wrong behavior, but discipline (not abuse) is proof of our love. The Bible says so.
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” Proverbs 13:24
CONVERSATIONS:
Have lots of them. Talk to your tweens/teens about what is okay and what is not okay. For example, if they are attending a get together, Uno is okay, but ouija boards aren’t. (I learned this the hard way)
Have conversations about everything. If you don’t, someone else will…and that’s scary!
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Kids will be kids…but parents still need to be parents.
-Binu
