All right, it’s confession time…
I didn’t want to post this picture. I don’t like the way that I look in this picture. Actually, I really disliked the way I looked in every picture we took that day. That evening, I told myself that I wasn’t going to post any of these pictures. Then I got this nudge.
You know that nudge- The one that keeps on nudging until you slap it away or do something about it?
Posting this picture is symbolic of my entire year. From start to finish 2019 nudged me out of my comfort zone. Every insecurity that I have lit up this year- starting in January when we started our Facebook live posts. I don’t love social media. I don’t love the camera- I don’t like the 10 pounds that it adds. (It IS the camera, right?) I don’t like public speaking. I am much happier working behind the scenes.
But, this was my year to say ‘yes’. I promised God that I wouldn’t say no to His requests. I was not allowed to ignore those little nudges anymore. No excuses- just yes.
So, what happened? My insecurities were on fire, and I let them stay on fire. I agreed to be on camera. I had the honor of speaking at PCNAK and at the event in Houston. I had the privilege of being part of this incredible book- which led me to taking this picture.
Several years ago, I wrote in my journal: “Write a devotional”. I wrote it down and then forgot about it. I didn’t know how God would do this, so I just tucked it away for later. When we started this project, I knew it would be challenging. I knew it would be a stretch. I tried to mentally prepare myself for it, but I had no idea what was coming. As I said in our launch video, it’s easy for me to write when I am inspired, but to write about something that is assigned to me is slightly different. It forced me to lean in and rely on God. I would carve out time during my week to write, and I would tell God “All right God, I said yes. You have to meet me here.” And He would meet me every single time. For me, this project is a testimony about saying yes, knowing that I couldn’t do it on my own, and having God meet me in my deficiencies.
In hind sight, I have been so blessed by all of these things that I have said ‘yes’ to- I don’t think that I can go back. It truly makes me wonder what I’ve been missing out on all these years by saying no. The nudge to post the picture was the nudge to get over myself and possibly encourage someone else.
You know what’s hard about coming out of your comfort zone? It’s really uncomfortable- similar to the discomfort that comes with growing pains. It’s a necessary pain. You can’t stay the same size forever- physically or spiritually. Growth is a sign of life. I would love to tell you that God fixed all of my insecurities… I’ll just say that I’m still under construction. I know that I’m not alone- I know that there are several of you who are scared to step out of your comfort zone. I know that we all have insecurities that we are insecure about facing. Just say yes. Let God meet you there. He won’t disappoint.
