It was the beginning of the school year.

I watched her as she stood there, waiting for the school bus.

Would she remember her bus number?

Would it get her to school on time?

Was the bus driver nice?

All the things.

All the things I worry about- they seem minor, but somehow my heart beats faster the more I dwell on it.

Then, just last week:  “Mama, my friend and I were watching a video and I saw something I shouldn’t see…”

My stomach drops. I may have stopped breathing for a second, but I try not to look panicked.

I listen to her and give her time to talk it out.

All the complicated things.

How did I go from packing a diaper bag with bottles just a few short years ago to explaining inappropriate social media content to a preteen??

About 20 years ago. I remember asking my mom how she raised four children without a guidebook. Parenting just seemed so…complicated.

She said her guidebook with the Bible.

Wow, do I understand her now or what….Some days I feel like a lone traveler in the middle of a desert, peering at a dusty map, trying to figure out the best route.  I have no clue where to turn.

I’m not naïve.  I know that there is a plethora of other issues looming in the distance for my sweetheart:

How to make good friend choices.

How to deal with drama.

How to deal with boys.

How to deal with college applications.

How to choose a career.

But you know what?  Something I heard last night on a video gave me hope as a parent.

“As Christian parents we have to do everything possible in order to lead our children to want to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Because honestly once they do their Heavenly Father is going to be able to guide and convict them and do a far better job than any one of us could do.” Ruth Han, mental health therapist.

I have a choice.

I can worry about her bus route, her career choice, and her friends.

Or I can trust that since she has put her full faith and trust in Jesus, God will take care of her safety and give her discernment to make good choices.

My job is to lead her to WANT to have a personal relationship with Jesus. That’s the One Thing I’m responsible for.  And that means taking the initiative to read the Bible together, pray together, and teach her how to hear from God.

I’m learning to be less controlling and to worry less.  She is God’s child first and I pray that she has eyes to see and ears to hear from Him.

This parenting journey is challenging.  Painful, at times, but oh so rewarding.

Father God, equip us…so we can equip them.

~Elizabeth (Betsy) Thomas

Photo credit to Maximilian Simson on Unsplash.com