The first year of our marriage had humble beginnings.

My husband picked up his whole life, leaving a business behind, to live in a new city with me while I was training for my career.  It wasn’t easy for him to leave the home he always knew.

Being apart from parents and close friends, we encroached on a new season of life where we were learning to build a new life together.

I remember coming home to our sparsely furnished apartment after the first day of work since becoming a wife. The lights were dim, and it just looked depressing. My husband was laying on our futon in the living room, looking exhausted.

He was trying to work from home, but missed a webinar because the internet wasn’t working correctly. He even had to borrow the laptop of our apartment manager, who we barely knew!  I could see that he was frustrated, and everything just seemed so overwhelming to me in that moment.

I began to wonder if he was happy…not only with the job, but with this apartment, this new city, and…with me.   And this was just the first day of our reality!  The wedding and honeymoon were over…and now, we were in the thick of things….marriage.

You’ve got the engagement season, where you’re living in a fantasy world. Then, you have the wedding season, where everything happens in a whirlwind of a day.  Then, you’ve got the rest of your life…where you’re trying to figure out how to become a wife.

I didn’t want to be the reason for his unhappiness, and I remember crying.  It’s amazing how doubt starts creeping in when reality hits.

And that was where I was that day.

I knew God had brought us together, and I knew that we were in the right place because I had prayed each step of the way to that city.  But, in that moment, I felt the weight of my husband’s happiness and our future happiness, on my shoulders.

We sat in the dark that day, and we talked.  He told me about how he had problems with the internet, and yes, it was hard to leave home, but that he loved me and he was happy.  I felt reassured and confident that things were going to be okay when I heard those words.  We just needed to get used to our new routine.

Everyone’s story is different, but looking back, living away from our families was one of the best things that could have happened in our first year of marriage.

We learned how to communicate, how to handle conflict, and how to trust each other…all without anyone to run to.  Yes, we loved our families and maintained a close relationship with them, but in the end, we only had each other to rely on.

You may be going through a similar season in life in which you feel the weight of someone’s happiness on your shoulder.  I pray that you know that you are in the middle of God’s will for your life if you have surrendered everything to Him.

It’s healthy to talk out your feelings, be transparent, and pray with and for each other.  One day, you will look back and understand that God had a purpose for that season.

Keep trusting Him, and things will turn out to be better than what you ever anticipated.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”   Proverbs 3: 5,6 ESV

~Elizabeth