My daughter was about to be voted in as the leadership representative from her class.  I could feel it in my bones.

The campaign preparation included  an attractive poster – which included glitter, of course.  We spent hours putting it together.  And the speech was engaging, likening leadership qualities to items at a grocery store- easy for any second grader to understand.

She even dressed the part on voting day, donning a floral dress with a strand of pearls.

My daughter just fit the part, and I was proud of her.  Those other kids didn’t stand a chance.

That evening when I got out of work, I eagerly asked her about the competition.  She looked at me with sad eyes and said, “I didn’t win…”

What??  There is no way!

She then went on to talk about another topic…while my mind was spinning.  My competitive side kicked into gear and I was trying to analyze how things could go wrong.

She should have won!  

I was so disappointed, ya’ll, for the next three days! And my daughter didn’t seem to mind too much at all.

After day #3, I moved into self-comfort mode, and reminded myself of her soccer game that was coming up….she was going to win that game, for sure!

We receive word the morning of the game that it was cancelled due to rain…I was so bummed…this was her opportunity to win, win win!

Over the next few days, I realized that I was displaying an unhealthy example for my child.  Whether she won or not, I was truly was proud of the effort she put into campaigning and into athletics.

Yet, I also realized how much my emotions were tied into her absolutely needing to win something.

As a parent, it is so tempting to push our ideals onto our children and set expectations for them that may, at times, be unreasonable.  God has designed each one of them with certain strengths and abilities…but they also have weaknesses.  Our job as parents is to embrace them just the way they were created.

In his book, Grace-based Parenting, Dr. Tim Kimmel states, “Grace-based parents spend their time entrusting themselves to Christ…Grace-based parents have a keen awareness of their feet of clay. They understand their own propensity toward sin.” (pages 19-20).

I praise God for my children and for how they were created. I am also so grateful for a Father who loves me unconditionally. I will never need a trophy to earn His love.

May God give me the grace to raise them up to walk in His wisdom regardless of their weaknesses, and may they know that in their Father’s eyes, they are always winners.

1 John 3:1. “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!  And that is what we are!” (NIV)

~Betsy

by betsy

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