There is a stain on my carpet. It’s the size of a small pancake.

I know that in the midst of all that is happening in the world, this is a very, very small problem.  But it really bothers me.

It started as a very small spot on the carpet in the entrance of my bedroom.  I see it every time I walk in and out of the room. I cleaned it once and thought it was gone.  It magically reappeared a few days later.  This time, I attacked it with all my might.  I researched carpet cleaners and ran to the store to buy the recommended cleanser.  I tested the carpet cleaner in a small, inconspicuous area and it worked beautifully.  I crept over the spot (so it wouldn’t see me coming) and began spraying it. I sprayed the spot and a small area surrounding it.  Per the instructions, I waited the allotted time and then began patting it.  I thoroughly cleaned it and then vacuumed it.  I stepped back, satisfied with my work.

Whew- it was gone.

Or so I thought.  It reappeared a week later, and this time, it was bigger because of my efforts.

I was angry.  I tried vacuuming the carpet to see if I could make it look like a shadow instead. That didn’t work.  I tried cleaning it with just water.  That didn’t work either.

My husband heard me complaining and questioned why I was acting so crazy. He told me that he couldn’t even see the stain.

WHAAAT???? How is that even possible?!!! It’s huge! How can you NOT see it?

The stain that was so obvious to me was nothing in someone else’s perspective.  Just another example of how I am my own worst critic.  I live life thinking that I wear all of my insecurities on my sleeve, obvious to the rest of the world.

Romans 15:13 (NLT) says “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him.  Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

I need some new swagger; I need to start walking with some confident hope.  I need some joy and peace to fill my life,  and I need to trust in Him daily. I need to quit worrying about the stains that I think everyone can see. I need to quit trying to fix them on my own, because this (apparently) only makes them bigger.

I walk past that stain everyday, and it still bothers me.  I fight the urge to try to clean it again, because I know there’s a lesson there for me.

~Shiney