Real Questions, Honest Answers :
Apples of Gold: the Cliff Notes Edition 🍎
{In case you haven’t had a chance to watch any of our Apples of Gold YouTube Sessions OR perhaps you just need a reminder of what we’ve discussed, welcome to Apples of Gold: the Cliff Notes Edition}
✨QUESTION #1 This one is for our single friends: What do you do if you get the vibe that someone is “interested” in you, but you are NOT interested in him?✨
- Be mean or Ignore him and hope he gets the hint ❌
- Move to another country and pray that out of sight will lead to out of mind. ❌
- Drop obvious hints & pray he clues in 🤔
- Show Kindness but be honest. Involve a mutual friend if you need to. ✅
There isn’t a one size fits all answer to the question above, but here are some BEST PRACTICES which might help to make an awkward situation a little less awkward.
🍏Based on her own life lessons (and mistakes), Sophi starts off our Apples of Gold panel discussion by sharing what NOT to do. 🙈🙊
Do NOT be mean, rude and say things like “Eww…” When Sophi was in high school a young man “liked” her & she’s embarrassed to say, “Eww..” was her response. His affection quickly turned to disdain & now an older, much wiser Sophi realizes- kindness is key!
🍏Shyni shared some insight based on two different scenarios she faced in her younger years.
#1 In her mid twenties, there was a nice young man in her friend group whom she began to take an interest in. He caught on and asked her out for coffee. (Based on his recent interactions, she knew what was coming). Here’s how the coffee date went down. 👇🏾
Nice guy: “Do you see a future with us?”
Shyni: “I would like to hope so 🤷🏽♀️” (she said while nervously sitting on her hands and swaying back and forth)
Nice guy: “I’m sorry, I don’t see anything between us.” He then went on to share some nice qualities he saw in her.
She now sees this experience NOT AS A REJECTION BUT AS A REDIRECTION!!
A word of advice from Shyni: If you are the one being “redirected,” hold your head high and don’t make it awkward. Try to appreciate the honesty and allow it to give you the freedom to mentally move on.
#2 Proposal time: After spending the day with a young man her parents suggested, she knew he was NOT the one for her…but he felt differently.
Proposal guy: “I know you’re the one. I want to marry you.”
Shyni: “Whoa…I think we should pray about this.”
Once home, she called him (there was no need to prolong things).
Shyni: “Thank you for coming down to see me, but I’ve earnestly prayed about this and I know you’re not the one, but I do know God has a great girl for you.”
🍏Binu thought she had the answer to this question all figured out 💡 “Oh yeah, be honest, very honest. Tell him up front that you are NOT interested.”
But after talking to the 3 men in her life, she was forced to think again. Here’s what her husband and her sons (ages 21 & 19) had to say:
Binu’s husband: ‘Keep it brief. Be careful and don’t over explain or over share every detail of how you feel (or don’t feel). Some guys will take this as a challenge and pursue you more.’ 😬 😳
Binu’s son suggested saying something like- “Hey, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page and there’s nothing going on between us.”
Binu’s other son would prefer a less direct approach. Perhaps the “uninterested girl” could:
- drop obvious hints about being in the friend zone
- or involve a mutual friend to relay the message.
🍎Apples of Gold Concluding Remarks: 🍎
After letting someone down- you Do NOT need to be the one to give him a comforting hug or call and check up on him. This can give him mixed signals and might even lead him on. If you’re genuinely concerned about his mental state, ask a mutual friend to check in on him.
In Matthew 5:37, God’s Word reminds us, Let your Yes be Yes- in other words, don’t play mind games.
Be honest, be kind, don’t lead someone on, and if you need to, involve a mutual trusted friend. Every situation is different so ALWAYS PRAY and ask the Holy Spirit for His Guidance regarding your situation!!!
Remember, it’s not REJECTION, it’s REDIRECTION!!!
✨If you have a question that you’d like to see discussed, please private message us!! We’d love to hear from you! ✨
~Sophi, Shyni, Binu
#applesofgold
