When we prayerfully began our homeschooling journey over 13 years ago, I knew I loved children and I loved to teach. I will be the first to admit that I was scared to step out into these unknown waters, but we looked to the Lord for help and we trusted Him.
With one child just graduated, one in high school, and one beginning middle school, I guess you could say that we are doing it and we enjoy what we are doing. God has guided us and given wisdom and grace for every moment … good, bad, and ugly.
Yet, there are still days I find myself doubting my ability, questioning my worth, and feeling anything but confidence. This was particularly evident last fall when my oldest began applying to colleges.
Did I teach her well enough?
Should I have done something differently?
If only I was smarter.
But God called me to this specific role. And I learned a long time ago that if He has called me to it, He will walk me through it … which He has … every moment of every day. From cursive handwriting and cartography to mock trial and Shakespeare, we conquered each difficult task, as impossible as each one seemed at the time. Yet I considered myself inadequate when faced with this new challenge?
God helped me see something about myself. In spite of all that He has helped me to do, I will decide that I am not the right person for the job when He takes me to the next challenge. The icing on the cake is that I provide Him with a list of reasons why.
It seems that I’m not the only one who struggles in this area. Even though God thought Gideon had what was needed to lead the Israelites in defeating the Midianites, his response was, “But Lord, … how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” (Judges 6:15) Seeing only his limitations and weaknesses, he failed to see how God could work through him.
I love how the Life Application Study Bible addresses this issue: Reminding God of our limitations only tells Him that He doesn’t know us or that He has made a mistake in evaluating our character. Rather than making excuses, we need to do what God is calling us to do.
So what is God calling you to do dear Friend? Rather than letting doubts, insecurity, and excuses do the talking for you, can I remind you and me both of what God said to Gideon: “I will be with you.” (Judges 6:16) Proverbs 3:26 (NKJV) also reminds us: “For the Lord will be your confidence,”
God’s holy Word is filled with promises that assure us of His presence, His guidance, and most importantly, His love. May the Lord help us to have faith and trust Him at His word.
~Joyce
