If you know the story of Saul in the Old Testament, it’s hard to read about the beginning of his reign without thinking about how it ends.

He didn’t go looking to become king.  God sent Samuel, the prophet, to look for him.  When Samuel even starts the conversation with him, Saul is at a loss as to why.  

Was Saul being humble?  Possibly. But as we continue reading, it seems that his response was based on his insecurity.  There is a difference.

We often confuse the two because both can look like someone is “shying away” from the spotlight, stage or whatever the situation is.  It’s the heart behind it that is the factor.

Humility does it for the sake of others.  Insecurity does it for the sake of ourselves.  We’re afraid of what people will think or that we’re going to embarrass ourselves so we step away.

C.S. Lewis said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” It seems the opposite is true about insecurity:  Insecurity IS thinking less of yourself (a decreased self-value) but thinking of yourself more (frequently).

In spite of Saul’s initial resistance to his new assignment, he starts out strong.  The gift of prophecy, the promise that God is with him, a new heart…God was equipping the man he had called.  And Saul operated in that. When people spoke against him, he kept his peace rather than retaliating. He acknowledged God as the one who brought them the victory in battle.  

Saul’s insecurity almost stopped him from stepping up.  When he submitted to God, he was used powerfully. Unfortunately, it was also his insecurity that would ultimately result in his downfall as king.  When Saul yielded to his own feelings, God rejected him as king and chose someone else to take his place.

We can mask our insecurity temporarily but if we don’t surrender that part of our lives to God, it will seep out when we are pressed.

“…God opposes the proud but favors the humble” (James 4:6). Pray for humility. Pray that God would heal our insecurities.  The end of our stories depend on it.  ~Anu

Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash