When I first met the man I would one day marry, the thing that struck me the most was his smile. Do you know that to be able to genuinely smile is a God given gift? No, I am not talking about the kind that ends in a smirk or one given in a half hearted attempt. I am talking about the one that comes from within your heart and shines through your eyes. The kind that makes the person who is the recipient of your smile feel so warm and accepted.

Well, the smile this man sent my way that day sure floored me but I had the presence of mind to act nonchalant. As though it were an everyday occurrence. Little did he know that his smile had made a dent into a closed, locked, and bolted heart.

Fast forward a year and here I was getting ready to marry the man of my dreams. As any young bride to be I had visions of what a romantic relationship ours would be ever after. Unlike most marriages that had settled into predictable routines I was determined that ours would be one of freshness, adventure and unending joys. (Don’t we all start out that way?)

As I packed my bags for the flight back home, my close friends (a young married couple from Colombia) took me aside and sat me down for a heart to heart talk over cups of hot chocolate with string cheese (a Colombian special, I suppose, and still one of my favourite combos). I guess they knew that would get me to sit still and pay heed to what they had to say.

Among the varied life lessons they shared, one thing that stood out was this piece of advice. “You will now think that your husband to be is a superman with no faults of his. You might even feel you don’t measure up to him. Keep in mind that he has his strengths and his weaknesses. Just as you have your strengths and weaknesses. But there will come a time when these weaknesses will show up. The goal is not to pit against each other. But use his strength to balance your weakness and allow him to use your strength to balance his weakness.”

What a tremendous help this little life lesson has been all throughout our married life. Little did I know at that time that if there were two people who would be so different from each other, it would be the two of us. You see, from the way we were both raised up to our outlook on life, we are as far as the east is from the west. That book “Men Are From Mars, Women From Venus” – well, I might as well be from Infinity and Beyond!!

I just so happen to be the kind of person who is perfectly content to stay within the four walls of our house and take care of the myriad of activities within. I find ease in the routine and predictable things in life. I abhor change. Well, I will come to terms with change if you can prep me for it way in advance. But if you spring a surprise on me, I simply can’t take it easily.

However, my husband thrives on meeting people and welcomes change like a parched land takes to rain. You let him loose in a room full of strangers and he will end up being best buddies with the whole lot by the end of the day. I, on the other hand, could go on for years on a “Hi-Bye” basis.

Or for instance, my man will decide one fine day to take a different route to church. This simply  throws me off gear. My mind will immediately start quizzing him on why there has been a detour. Is there a construction going on, a block, some barricade? And his reply “Nothing, I just wanted a change.” Seriously?!! I can’t wrap my head around that kind of thinking.Why change routes if there is nothing wrong with the one we always take?

Then there are times he will switch his place at the dining table for no apparent reason. It makes me feel out of sorts to find him sitting at my right hand on some days and at other times on my left. I just don’t get it. What’s wrong with just sitting in a fixed spot?

But what I have realized along the years is that his spontaneity and zest for life has added flavour to my staid ways.  Some of those impromptu road trips we have taken has led us to places we would never have expected to find otherwise. I so vividly remember the one time we came across a paddy field covered with hundreds of Great White Herons shimmering in the sun, cutting through the glittering waters, swooping in and out for fish, or the time it took us to an almost isolated beach where the boys and I walked around collecting shells while listening to the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks. It was just us and nature revealing all its glory.

But more importantly, some of the most treasured and cherished friendships I have is because my husband decided I simply had to meet this person or the other. And what a blessing they are to me to this day. I could have fought against his welcoming nature and insisted on my need for privacy. I still do that at times and he respects that. He knows how much I can take and only nudges me along without forcing his ways on me .

My family has even learned it’s better to approach me through my husband.  They know that they stand a better chance of getting me to see things their way if it comes through my guy. What they don’t realise is that we have learned to use each other’s strengths to balance out our weaknesses. Otherwise we run the terrible risk of fighting against the unique nature God has bestowed on each of us. We embrace the differences and use it to our advantage.

Well, most of the time. If he keeps switching places at the dining table, I might end up serving his food on the table instead of on his plate. Maybe that will put a stop to this table switching business.

But I am a better person because of my husband. I like to tell him that he is God’s gift to me. All those tears I cried into my pillow through those darkest nights, well, God bottled every one of them.  And He poured it into my man to make him the husband he is to me. God took two imperfect people and joined them. He knew that we might not be perfect individuals, but He saw that we would be just perfect for each other. And His grace abounds to us.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble
(New Living Translation)

There is a song from the Beaches soundtrack that I always dedicate to my husband.
“Did you ever know that you’re my hero
 and everything I would like to be? 
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.  

It might have appeared to go unnoticed
 but I’ve got it all here in my heart.  
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it. 
I would be nothing without you.”

~Gia George